According this this helpful online test, my views are 100% compatible with Dennis Kucinich ... which, of course, makes absolutely no sense. First of all, Barack Obama has a much better name. Plus, he was raised by a goat herder. I mean, am I the only one who sees the possibilities here?

It's days like today when I'm proud to work in the alternative newsweekly industry.

Under normal circumstances, I'd summarize the story but this is a case where the whole truth should not be missed.

How do you feel about this format for a weekly web show? Be honest.

It's called "On Turning Ten" and it's by Billy Collins:

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light —
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

I'm listening to Guyville for the first time in ages ... and here Liz is so tough-yet-vulnerable, resilient-yet-yearning, bold-yet-coy — this is brilliant stuff. What happened?