While retrieving my lunch from the vending machine yesterday, the Snickers Munch bar collided with a Hostess Apple Pie on the way down, dislodging it from its coil prison and netting me both tasty morsels for the price of one. Sure, just thinking about eating the 480 calorie "pie" makes me nauseas, and touching its grease-soaked wrapper makes me feel covered in slime, but getting it for free makes me feel pretty lucky.

Man, waking up after a great, whirlwind Friday night out -- a night filled with laughter, intoxication, and big ideas -- is so much better than waking up after a night standing lethargically behind a counter at Blockbuster.

I'm standing there with a few of my co-workers and we start to talk about wine. They prefer "very dry whites."

"Well," I say. "I like reds. Give me a good cabernet or a merlot any day."

"Oh," they laugh. "You like the strong stuff."

"Yeah, I do. I like to feel it."

So, Lindsay, I hear you and your boyfriend have broken up. According to some website I read, it says you should avoid listening to sad music during this time period. In fact, it even went so far as to say you should be listening to music without words. Of course, I say this is preposterous. Instead, listen to these:

1. U2 - Achtung Baby - Pretty much at the top of every top 5 album list that I make. Including this one. As far as breakup albums go, it doesn't get any better than this. The Edge's marriage was dissolving and U2 were were on the verge of breaking up themselves. To confront these demons head-on, they plugged themselves into the heart of darkness -- East Berlin. During a trying recording process it seemed as if nothing was working. The "hats" (Bono and The Edge) and "the haircuts" (Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton) could not agree on the direction that the band of the 1980s should be taking in the brave new world of the 90's. Then, just as the Wall came down and East Berlin ceased to exist, the band experienced a breakthrough while struggling with a rough version of "Ultraviolet," a last desperate plea for intimacy to a partner in a disintegrating relationship, when suddenly Bono started improvising lyrically. Then Adam felt the grove on the bass. The other members fell in line and "One," perhaps the single greatest love song ever recorded, emerged. In short order, U2 found hope amid the darkness, and Achtung Baby had a cohesive theme: "How far you gonna go before you lose your way back home?" Not just a breakup album, but a Freudian exploration of fidelity and infidelity. Every distorted guitar chord is an anguished lover's wail, every piano note a teardrop, every throb of the bass the beat of the human heart -- all wrapped up in a James Joyce Nighttown wandering sexiness. Best album ever.

2. Everything But The Girl - Amplified Heart - Let's say I have to limit myself to only one EBTG album, which one should I choose? On one hand there is Walking Wounded, the first and best album from the band's techno period and, with cuts such as "Single", "Wrong", and "Before Today", a very respectable breakup album indeed. On the other hand there is Amplified Heart which is the last album from their smooth jazz period. It gets the nod simply because it tells a more complete story than Wounded, even if it is less sexy. And it ends with "Disenchanted" which is actually an optimistic song if you can make it all the way through without crying.

3. Beck - Sea Change - I was once told by someone that she thought that this was just about the saddest thing there is. I pretty much tend to agree.

4. Various Artists - High Fidelity soundtrack - Great book, great movie, great soundtrack. Certainly it should come as little to no surprise that this would find its way onto a list like this. Sure, as far as mix-tapes go this is not the most consistent but then neither are you at this time. And it ends on the most optimistic of all notes, "I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever)", a song about picking up and carrying on, about still believing in love despite all evidence to the contrary, about staying vulnerable and letting yourself get hurt again.

5. No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom - Just because you are despondent doesn't mean you can't be upbeat about it. Witness this underrated 1997 breakup masterpiece. Old timers can take Fleetwood Mac's Rumors any day for intra-band romantic dissolution, but make mine No Doubt. Gwen shows surprising lyrical depth in plumbing the realities of the breakup of her seven year relationship with bassist Tony Kanal and turns it into 100% fun. Breakup standouts include "Happy Now," "Sunday Morning", "End it on This," and of course, the jaw-dropping "Don't Speak."

While enjoying a -- and I quote -- "Cheddar Char Dog" at Chicago's semi-famous Weiner Circle, I was told by trip-mate Neil that on one of his prior visits to the Circ' a young woman approached him and said, "Did you hear? Someone beat Super Mario Bros. 3 in 11 minutes."

I am happy to live in a world were that qualifies as the sort of news with which one approaches a stranger. In that vein, I am happy to live in a world where someone would make this.