18 May 2004

Like common people

That's it, I'm not going to see it. Unless this turns out to be false, I'm imposing a Titanic-esque "never under any circumstances" ban on seeing it. (Ironic when you consider my initial reason for imposing said ban.)

I hope you are sitting down.

How do I put this? In $tar Wars Episode 3, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan are going to have a lightsaber fight while surfing on lava.

Sure, when Batman and Robin 'boarded their way back to Earth on rocketship doors, it was so awful it was kind of funny. And we all thought it was dumb when Legolas skated down the stairs of Helm's Deep, dispatching orcs like it was a bonus level in Tony Hawk, but all we did was roll our eyes. But this? The one unadultarated, pure bit of hubris amid the banality of the so-called prequels -- the one scene that not even George Lucas could screw up, the one we have been waiting nearly 30 years for -- and they're going to be surfing? On lava!?!?!!

Read the gory details for yourself.


6 Comments so far

  1. Z May 19th, 2004 10:44 pm

    In response to this disturbing new I checked out theforce.net to read up on what the gushers thought. I didn't find it, but I did find this gem...

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4980465

    Check it out, the guy has some good progressive ideas about how to save the third movie.

  2. Ray May 20th, 2004 12:02 am

    Oh, and speaking of saving Star Wars, here is the site of a movie shot here in Indianapolis about the subject:

    SavingStarWars.com

  3. Jenn May 20th, 2004 1:44 am

    George Lucas messed things up in my mind by releasing Episode one and forcing subpar acting paired with a mundane script upon us, as well as that awful awful jar jar binks.

  4. JACobi May 22nd, 2004 12:17 am

    Everyday i find new reasons to hate life.

  5. Ray May 22nd, 2004 12:33 am

    Well here's another one:

    Richard Donner says "no Goonies 2"

  6. hun May 25th, 2004 12:14 am

    oh my gawd, that's just sick. sick sick sick

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