So it's legal to make pornography, it's legal to sell pornography, and it's legal to buy pornography. But prostitution is illegal.

In other words, it's legal to accept money to preform sex acts on film and it's legal to pay for those sex acts on film as both a producer and a consumer. On the other hand, if it's not being filmed, it's illegal to pay for that as either a producer for consumer.

So why don't prostitutes simply give the sex away for free with purchase of a custom-made porno video starring you? You know, sorta like a mall Santa, only with disease testing.

This kid I work with pulls up today in a brand new fat-assed Chevrolet Corvette. He's maybe seventeen. He asks me how I like his new car. Initially, I think he must be joking.

"You purchased that on your salary from here?" I asked.

He says that his parents bought it for him. "And they don't want me to work," he explains.

"Well," I asked, "Why do you? I mean, dude, if I had that car, I would not be spending my Friday and Saturday nights here wearing a pink apron -- I'd be crusin' in that thing and pickin' up chicks."

He looks at me, huge diamonds dangling from several places in his ears and says, "You know, it's not always about the money, sometimes it's about the social interaction."

I walked away laughing.

Judging from the load of comments the last time I wrote about the situation, I can tell you are all clamouring for more Evanescence news.

The latest is that all the US tour dates, which were supposed to happen later this month and in December, have been 'postponed' but they are issuing refunds which sounds suspiciously like 'cancelled' to me.

Plus, Amy opens up a little in a Kerrang cover story on Ben's vanishing called "Malice in Wonderland," which paints her as the cold, calculating leader of "the Amy Show." She says she's happy that Ben is gone.

Ironically, at this time the video for "My Immortal" is starting to play on MTV and such, and its plotline is eerily similar to what is going on in real life with the band.

Today at work, someone called me. As usual, I answered the phone with "Thank you for calling Blockbuster 96th Street, home of the BIG DVD trade in! This is Ray. How may I help you?"

At first, I was confused; I couldn't hear what the guy on the end of the line said, but it echoed as if he were using a speakerphone in an auditorium. Then his voice got a little clearer and he said in a thick Austrian accent, "I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately."

"Ooh!" I said excitedly as I realized what was going on: I was being prank called by someone using an Arnold soundboard.

As you may know, I like to mimic Arnold soundboard clips in regular conversation, so, naturally, I took this oportunity to show off my mad Arnold soundboard mimicry. "Who is your daddy," I said matching the inflection and accent of the clip, "And what does he do?"

The prank caller had Arnold say, "Who are you?"

I fired back: "I'm a cop you idiot! I'm Detective John Kimble!"

"I'm Detective John Kimble!" the soundboard replied. By this point, my manager was giving me a funny look and I decided I should just hang up the phone.

What should I write about today? I guess I could bitch about movies, but I don't want to turn into a cliche. Well, any more of a cliche than I already am, at least.

I could write about this dream I had last night, but I don't really remember it. I think it featured my high school English teacher, but I can't be certain.

I could write about the lunch I had with this guy about taking over his job of web-designer, and about how I am an idiot and forgot to take my wallet. But, you know, right there I've already covered the major points; any more would be over kill.

I guess I could post an informative and quirky web link, but really would that inspire people to write in my commments section?

Sigh. I guess I could write about how I have to change clothes and go into work in a few minutes, but that would really be scraping the bottom of the minutae barrel.

I guess I have no choice but to admit that I'm creatively bankrupt. Stick a fork in me. I'm done.

As a general rule, sequels suck. The reason for this is lack of originality. The modius operandi of a producer of a sequel is to copy as closely as possible the formula and/or elements of the previous film in an effort to attract back the same people who saw the original.

Examples: Two sequels which I have recently watched, Terminator 3 and Matrix 3. Now, if there is one type of movie that is sure to suck more than a sequel, it is a three-quel, and this generally holds true here.

As your pre-school counting skills have alerted you, Terminator 3 follows on Terminator 2. T-2 had a plot which turned the premise of the original on its ear and explored weighty topics like the human condition and fate. At the same time it redefined what sort of action was capable of being shown in a movie, action so realistic and of such scope that only one other film has ever attempted anything of its magnitude.

Many people disagree, but I think T-2 remains the finest big-budget action picture of all time. So it's sad to see it followed up by Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, a predictable low-budget near-spoof of a sci-fi flim which just tries to repeat T-2 with a few bits changed. In a stroke of originality, Arnold is back as the good Terminator programmed to protect future savior John Connor from a more advanced killing machine. It goes without saying that I found these 'characters' to be flat and unlikable and the action was CGI-ed into cartoonhood too often.

Neither James Cameron or Linda Hamilton (whose character, I might add, is the protagonist of the Terminator films) wanted to have anything to do with this and it shows. Also missing is the score and blue-hued cinematography of the original two. (I'll forgive those things since I think their absensce is less insulting to the original two than their inclusion would have been.)

Furthermore, the film makes no effort to even make sense. I'm not exactly a computer science major or anything, but even I recognized that the technobabble about how the super-virus works is absolute malarky. The film is clearly only interested in (lame) shoot-outs, (derivative) fight sequences, and (boring) vehicle chases. If that's all you want to do, at least try come up with your own premise. No one needed a Terminator 3.

On the other hand, we did need a Matrix 3, if for no other reason than Reloaded asked so many questions that it was little more than a 2-hour teaser trailor for Revolutions. Sad to say, as a tie-ing up of the loose ends from Reloaded, the movie fails. The end of the war is a total cop-out and falls flat, plus there is no explanation attempted about how Neo can have powers outside the Matrix or how Smith can exsist in the real world. There's not even any lip service paid to the big twist from Reloaded, and if enevitablilty or systems of control played any part in the climax of this film, I must have missed it.

Sure, there are parts of the movie which are quite entertaining to behold (the battle for the dock) and it even sports some decent-looking CGI. (How often do you hear me say that?) However, a movie is not made by its action sequences, but rather by its plot and characters. In that regard, Revolutions is a failure: the 'romance' between Neo and Trinity is almost as strained as the 'romance' between Anakin and Padme. Trinity should have stayed dead in Reloaded and saved us all the pain of that absurd virtual heart-massage revival sequence. Her part here should have been filled by pious believer Morpheous, who has about as much to do as Han Solo did in Return of the Jedi. I did like Niobe and Seraph, though.

So, the verdict on Revolutions is "crap", but it's certainly worth seeing if you're into the series. Terminator 3 comes out on DVD next week and my advice is to avoid it unless you are looking to make fun of it.

Finding Nemo is released today on DVD. In domestic theaters this year, it has reigned supreme, taking in a whopping $329 million. It's closest competitor (Pirates of the Carribean) was a full $65 million behind. To top it off, it is a wonderful animated film.

Unfortunately, it's that animated part that holds alot of people back. Working at a video store that wants me to shill Nemo to each and every person who walks in the door, I can't tell you how many people say that "oh, we don't have any kids" or "We're a little old for that sort of thing." Hell, I actually had one customer who had the temerity to scoff at "a cartoon" like Nemo while purchasing The Sum of All Fears.

While Nemo is certainly not the animated equlivant of Last Tango In Paris, it's alot more adult-oriented than any other recent major English-language animated picture.

People are just close-minded about their entertainment.

Furthermore, consider the conversation I heard a co-worker of mine having with a customer about "mind-blowing" animated films. It was all Akira-this, Ninja Scroll that.These guys listed off a bunch of anime with gore and explosions, swords and submachine guns. I didn't hear a single mention any really mind-blowing animated films like the heart-breaking antiwar drama A Grave of the Firefiles or the Tom Harris-esque psychological drama of Perfect Blue or even the spectacular scope of the imagination behind the previously-mentioned Spirited Away

Why can't people accept animation (or comic books for that matter) as being capable of providing more than either childish stupidity or hyper-masculine/over-sexed heroics? People who like animation and people who don't both seem to want to pigeon-hole an entire medium into only two of its unlimited possible messages. Meanwhile there is seemingly no market for an animated film that is neither somewhat childish nor trying as hard as possible to be "adult."

I hate to base my life on the tag-line to Moral Kombat: Annihalation, but you've really got to destroy all expectations.