Man, I never thought I'd say this, but the Jerry Springer show is just a sad parody of its former self.

Well, long time no see, huh? You know, you got alot of guts coming back here after what you pulled. Yada yada.

So, anyway, I have been inexplicably absent from the world of blogging. Sorry; I'm sure the two of you left that read my blog have been crying into your porridge(s). On the plus side, I now have a resumé.

So, in order to get you caught up, I present the following Short Form^TM

• No matter how much I like muscial acts that start with the letter E, Everclear still sucks.

• There is no such thing as too much pepper on a turkey sandwich.
• Burt Reynolds = terror personified.
• Having my car ticketed on the JAC property is one abuse of the law, but this takes things to the extreme.
• This is easily the funniest Onion article since this one.
• If ever a site had been designed with Pat Ellison as the target audience this is it.

That is all. Until next time: stay true, stay deep.

Parce que je vous ecris de ma classe de francais, j'ai pense que j'ecrirais en francais. C'est une bonne idee, non? Donc, l'autre jour, une fille m'a dit, "c'est tres chaud quand tu parles en francais." Cette commentaire me fait tres heureux, pour plusieurs raisons.

Oh, la la. J'espere que personne qui lit mon blog peux comprend la francais.

Let's do this in the short form:

- 28 Days Later should be seen and loved by any fans of early Sam Rami or Peter Jackson films. The tone is different but the style is the same.

- People who do not like the movie Armageddon have no soul!

- Bloomington in the summertime is like Neo-Tokyo, if you know what I mean.

- This game is soooooo much fun. Lame music though: be sure to press S to stop it.

Mere moments ago, I saw a man wearing capri pants. This is unacceptable.

While wasting my life away and watching as much of the Disney Channel as I can before I am forced to cancel my cable subscription, I noticed that Huey, Dewey, and Louie now have the same voice as Donald Duck, which I'm pretty sure is counter to the way they spoke in DuckTales. I ask you: is there no justice in this world?

I miss early 90s cartoons-- take the episode of Captain Planet I saw this morning: within like 20 minutes, the Planeteers managed to get IRA terrorists, Catholics, Jews, Pakistani and Muslims to agree to stop blowing each other up by having Whoopi Goldberg effect a 3-minute long "time warp" to 10 years in the future, which saw the various Holy Lands completely decimated by bombing and such. Since it has been 11 years since the episode first came out, I think I speak for everyone when I say, "Whoa."

Oh, and, by the way, Harry Potter is Voldemort's son. Just FYI.